English Learner Parent Guide: Talking to Your Child About School Success

Essential Daily Conversations About School

Starting the Day – Before School

Positive Send-offs:

“Have a wonderful day at school!”
“I’m proud of you for working hard.”
“Remember to do your best today.”
“You’re going to learn something new today!”
“I believe in you.”
“Make good choices today.”
“Be kind to your classmates.”
“Raise your hand if you have questions.”

Reminders About Expectations:

“Remember to listen to your teacher.”
“Use your respectful voice in class.”
“Keep your hands to yourself.”
“Walk, don’t run, in the hallways.”
“Turn in your homework on time.”
“Try your best, even if it’s difficult.”
“Ask for help when you need it.”

After School – Daily Check-ins

Opening Questions:

“How was your day at school?”
“What was the best part of your day?”
“What did you learn today?”
“Did anything happen that you want to talk about?”
“How did you feel at school today?”
“Did you make any new friends today?”
“Was there anything difficult about today?”

Follow-up Questions:

“Tell me more about that.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“What did you do when that happened?”
“How did your teacher help you?”
“What would you do differently next time?”
“Are you proud of how you handled that?”

Homework and Learning:

“What homework do you have today?”
“Do you need help with anything?”
“Let’s look at your work together.”
“I’m proud of your effort.”
“It’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how we learn.”
“Let’s practice this until you feel confident.”

Conversations About Academic Success

Encouraging Good Study Habits

Setting Up for Success:

“Let’s create a quiet place for you to study.”
“Turn off the TV/tablet while doing homework.”
“Let’s set a regular time for homework every day.”
“It’s important to do homework before playing.”
“Good students review their work before turning it in.”
“Let’s organize your backpack for tomorrow.”
“Reading every day will make you a better student.”

When Your Child Struggles:

“It’s normal for learning to be hard sometimes.”
“Let’s break this problem into smaller steps.”
“What part do you understand? What part is confusing?”
“Let’s try a different way to solve this.”
“It’s okay to ask your teacher for help.”
“You don’t have to be perfect – just do your best.”
“I’m proud of you for not giving up.”

Celebrating Academic Achievements:

“I’m so proud of your hard work!”
“Your effort is paying off!”
“You should feel proud of this grade.”
“I can see how much you’ve improved!”
“Your teacher will be proud of you too.”
“This shows you’re becoming a good student.”
“Let’s celebrate your success!”

Teaching About Different Subjects

Math:

“Math helps us solve problems in real life.”
“Let’s practice math with cooking/shopping.”
“It’s okay if math feels hard – practice makes it easier.”
“Show me how you solved this problem.”
“Let’s check your work together.”

Reading and Writing:

“Reading will help you learn about everything.”
“Let’s read together every night.”
“Tell me what happened in the story.”
“Writing helps you share your ideas.”
“Let’s write about something you’re interested in.”

Science:

“Science helps us understand how the world works.”
“Let’s do experiments at home.”
“Ask questions about things you wonder about.”
“Science is everywhere around us.”

Conversations About Proper School Behavior

Classroom Behavior

Explaining Expectations:

“In American schools, students raise their hands to speak.”
“Wait for your turn to talk.”
“Listen when your teacher or classmates are speaking.”
“Sit properly in your chair during class.”
“Keep your desk area clean and organized.”
“Follow directions the first time they’re given.”
“Use quiet voices when working with partners.”
“Stay in your seat unless you have permission to move.”

When There Are Problems:

“Tell me what happened at school today.”
“How do you think your teacher felt when you did that?”
“What could you have done differently?”
“Let’s practice the right way to behave.”
“Tomorrow, you can show your teacher you’ve learned.”
“Good students take responsibility for their mistakes.”
“I know you can make better choices.”

Respect and Kindness

Teaching Respectful Behavior:

“Always use polite words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you.'”
“Treat your teacher the way you want to be treated.”
“Help classmates when they need it.”
“Include others in games and activities.”
“Never make fun of someone who is different.”
“Stand up for friends who are being treated unfairly.”
“Apologize when you make a mistake.”

Addressing Disrespectful Behavior:

“That behavior is not acceptable in our family.”
“How would you feel if someone treated you that way?”
“Respectful students are successful students.”
“Your teacher deserves your respect.”
“We need to discuss how to fix this situation.”
“What can you do to make this right?”

Conversations About Social Success

Making Friends and Social Skills

Encouraging Friendship:

“What makes someone a good friend?”
“How can you be a good friend to others?”
“It’s okay if making friends takes time.”
“Look for children who share your interests.”
“Be yourself – the right friends will like you for who you are.”
“Invite someone to play with you at recess.”
“Ask questions to show you’re interested in others.”
“Share your toys and materials with classmates.”

When Your Child Feels Left Out:

“It’s normal to feel sad when you don’t have friends yet.”
“Let’s think of ways to connect with your classmates.”
“What activities do you enjoy that others might like too?”
“Sometimes friendships take time to develop.”
“You are a wonderful person – others will see that too.”
“Let’s talk to your teacher about group activities.”

Handling Peer Pressure

Teaching Good Decision-Making:

“Just because other kids do something doesn’t mean you should.”
“It’s okay to say ‘no’ if something doesn’t feel right.”
“Good friends won’t pressure you to do wrong things.”
“You can always walk away from bad situations.”
“Tell a trusted adult if someone pressures you.”
“I’m proud of you for making your own good choices.”
“Real friends will respect your decisions.”

When Your Child Makes Poor Choices:

“Everyone makes mistakes – what matters is what we learn.”
“Why did you choose to do that?”
“How do you feel about that choice now?”
“What will you do if this happens again?”
“Let’s practice saying ‘no’ to peer pressure.”
“Your safety and values are more important than fitting in.”

Conversations About Cultural Identity and School

Balancing Two Cultures

Celebrating Your Heritage:

“You should be proud of where our family comes from.”
“Our culture and language are gifts to be proud of.”
“You can be successful in American schools while keeping our traditions.”
“Share your culture with your classmates – they can learn from you.”
“Speaking two languages makes you special and smart.”
“Our values will help you make good choices at school.”

Navigating Cultural Differences:

“Some things may be different at school than at home – that’s okay.”
“You can follow school rules and still honor our family values.”
“If you’re confused about something, ask me or your teacher.”
“Different doesn’t mean wrong – it just means different.”
“We can learn from American culture while keeping our own.”

When Your Child Feels Different:

“Everyone is different in some way – that’s what makes people interesting.”
“Your differences make you special, not weird.”
“Many students at your school come from different countries too.”
“Being bilingual is a superpower that not everyone has.”
“I’m proud of who you are and where we come from.”
“Your culture adds richness to your school community.”

Dealing with Discrimination or Prejudice

If Your Child Faces Discrimination:

“No one should treat you badly because of your background.”
“You have the right to feel safe and respected at school.”
“Tell me immediately if someone is mean about your culture or language.”
“This is not your fault – some people need to learn about respect.”
“We will work with the school to fix this problem.”
“You are valuable and deserve to be treated well.”
“Never be ashamed of who you are.”

Teaching Your Child to Respond:

“You can say: ‘That’s not okay’ if someone is disrespectful.”
“Walk away and tell a teacher if someone is being mean.”
“You don’t have to argue with people who are being unfair.”
“Find friends who appreciate your background.”
“Remember that their words don’t define who you are.”

Conversations About Challenges and Problem-Solving

When School is Difficult

Academic Struggles:

“Learning English and school subjects at the same time is very hard work.”
“You’re braver than students who only have to learn in their first language.”
“It’s okay if you need more time to understand things.”
“Ask your teacher to repeat or explain things differently.”
“We’ll get you extra help if you need it.”
“Don’t give up – you’re getting stronger every day.”
“I’m proud of how hard you’re trying.”

Language Challenges:

“Your English is improving every day.”
“It’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how you learn.”
“Don’t be embarrassed to ask what words mean.”
“Practice speaking English, but don’t forget our home language.”
“Read in English every day, even if it’s hard.”
“Your accent is part of who you are – don’t be ashamed of it.”

Bullying and Mean Behavior

If Your Child is Being Bullied:

“Bullying is never okay, no matter what.”
“This is not your fault.”
“You’re brave for telling me about this.”
“We will solve this problem together.”
“Tell a teacher or adult at school immediately when this happens.”
“Don’t fight back with violence – get help instead.”
“You deserve to feel safe at school.”
“I will always support you and protect you.”

Teaching Bully Prevention:

“Walk with confidence and keep your head up.”
“Stay near teachers and other students.”
“Don’t walk alone in empty areas of the school.”
“If someone is mean, tell them to stop and walk away.”
“Report bullying every time it happens.”
“Find friends who will support you.”

Age-Appropriate Conversations

Elementary School (Ages 5-11)

Simple Expectations:

“Listen to your teacher.”
“Be kind to everyone.”
“Try your best work.”
“Raise your hand to talk.”
“Keep your hands to yourself.”
“Use walking feet inside.”
“Clean up after yourself.”
“Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.'”

Encouragement:

“You’re doing great!”
“I’m proud of you!”
“You’re learning so much!”
“You’re a good friend!”
“Keep trying – you’ll get it!”

Middle School (Ages 12-14)

More Complex Discussions:

“Middle school has different expectations than elementary school.”
“You’ll have multiple teachers and need to be more organized.”
“It’s normal to feel stressed sometimes.”
“Your body and emotions are changing – that’s normal.”
“Focus on good friends who support your goals.”
“Avoid drama and gossip.”
“Take responsibility for your choices and grades.”
“Come to me with problems – I’m here to help.”

High School (Ages 15-18)

Preparing for Adulthood:

“High school grades are important for your future.”
“Start thinking about what you want to do after graduation.”
“You have more freedom, but also more responsibility.”
“Make choices that will help you reach your goals.”
“Don’t let peer pressure influence important decisions.”
“We need to plan for college or career training.”
“You’re becoming an adult – I’m proud of your growth.”

Vocabulary to Teach Your Child

School Behavior Words

Positive Behaviors:

Respectful – treating others with kindness
Responsible – taking care of your duties
Honest – telling the truth
Helpful – assisting others when needed
Patient – waiting calmly
Cooperative – working well with others
Focused – paying attention to important things
Organized – keeping things neat and in order

Words to Avoid:

Disruptive – bothering others during learning
Disrespectful – being rude or impolite
Irresponsible – not doing what you’re supposed to do
Dishonest – lying or cheating
Impatient – getting frustrated when waiting
Uncooperative – refusing to work with others

Academic Success Words

Learning Terms:

Effort – trying hard
Practice – doing something repeatedly to improve
Improvement – getting better at something
Challenge – something difficult that helps you grow
Achievement – accomplishing a goal
Perseverance – not giving up when things are hard
Curiosity – wanting to learn new things
Confidence – believing in yourself

Social Skills Words

Friendship Terms:

Loyal – being a true friend
Trustworthy – someone others can depend on
Inclusive – including everyone
Empathetic – understanding how others feel
Supportive – helping friends when they need it
Forgiving – letting go of anger when someone makes a mistake

Daily Routines and Phrases

Morning Routine

Getting Ready:

“Time to get up for school!”
“Let’s get dressed and ready.”
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“Do you have all your homework in your backpack?”
“Let’s eat a good breakfast so you can focus at school.”
“Don’t forget your lunch money/lunch box.”

Evening Routine

Homework Time:

“Let’s start homework right after your snack.”
“Show me what you need to do tonight.”
“Let’s work on the hard subjects first.”
“Take a break if you’re feeling frustrated.”
“I’m proud of you for working so hard.”
“Let’s check your work together before you’re done.”

Bedtime Preparation:

“Let’s pack your backpack for tomorrow.”
“Did you put your homework in your folder?”
“Let’s lay out your clothes for tomorrow.”
“What do you need to remember for school tomorrow?”
“I’m proud of how you’re growing as a student.”
“Get good sleep so your brain can be ready to learn.”

Encouragement and Motivation

Building Confidence

Daily Affirmations:

“You are smart and capable.”
“You can learn anything with practice and effort.”
“Mistakes help your brain grow stronger.”
“I believe in your ability to succeed.”
“You have special talents and gifts.”
“Every day you’re becoming a better student.”
“You make our family proud.”

When Your Child Feels Discouraged

Supportive Responses:

“Everyone finds some things difficult – that’s normal.”
“You don’t have to be perfect to be successful.”
“Let’s focus on how much you’ve already improved.”
“What’s one small thing you can do better tomorrow?”
“I love you no matter what grades you get.”
“Your effort matters more than being perfect.”
“Let’s ask for help – that’s what smart people do.”

Celebrating Success

Recognizing Achievement:

“I’m so proud of your hard work!”
“Look how much you’ve improved!”
“You should feel proud of yourself.”
“Your dedication is paying off.”
“You’re becoming such a responsible student.”
“Let’s call grandma/grandpa to share your good news!”
“This shows what you can accomplish when you try.”

Problem-Solving Conversations

Teaching Problem-Solving Skills

When Your Child Has a Problem:

“Tell me what happened.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“What do you think caused this problem?”
“What are some ways we could solve this?”
“What would happen if we tried each solution?”
“Which solution do you think would work best?”
“Let’s try that and see what happens.”
“If that doesn’t work, we’ll try another solution.”

Common School Problems and Responses

“I don’t understand the homework”:

“Let’s read the directions together.”
“What part makes sense? What part is confusing?”
“Let’s look at the examples in your book.”
“Should we email your teacher for clarification?”
“It’s okay to ask for help – that shows you care about learning.”

“The other kids don’t like me”:

“That must feel very sad.”
“Sometimes it takes time to find good friends.”
“What kind of friend do you want to be?”
“Let’s think of ways to connect with your classmates.”
“You are lovable and deserving of good friends.”

“School is too hard”:

“Learning new things is supposed to feel challenging.”
“Your brain is like a muscle – it gets stronger with exercise.”
“Let’s break big tasks into smaller pieces.”
“What support do you need to be successful?”
“I’m proud of you for not giving up.”

Communication Tips for Parents

Creating a Supportive Environment

At Home:

Listen without judging – Let your child share their experiences
Ask open-ended questions – Encourage detailed responses
Share your own school experiences – Help them understand challenges are normal
Celebrate small wins – Recognize effort and improvement
Stay calm during difficult conversations – Your reaction affects their willingness to share
Follow through on promises – If you say you’ll help, make sure you do
Balance high expectations with unconditional love

Building Your Child’s Communication Skills

Encourage them to:

Ask questions when they don’t understand
Speak up for themselves respectfully
Tell trusted adults about problems
Express their feelings with words instead of actions
Practice conversations with you at home
Write in a journal to organize their thoughts

Remember:

Your child is navigating two cultures – This requires extra patience and support
Academic success takes time – Celebrate progress, not just perfection
Social skills develop gradually – Some children need more time to make friends
Your support matters more than perfect English – Your love and encouragement are most important
Every child is unique – What works for other children might not work for yours
Consistency is key – Regular conversations build trust and understanding

Most importantly: Your child needs to know that you believe in them, support them, and will help them succeed in school while honoring the values and culture of your family.