Introduction
Dining in American restaurants can be very different from other countries. Understanding American customs about eating out and tipping will help you feel more comfortable and confident. This guide will explain the most important rules and expectations.
Understanding American Tipping Culture
Why Americans Tip
Tipping is not optional in the United States. It is a required part of dining out. Many servers (the people who bring your food) earn very low base wages. They depend on tips to make a living wage. Tips usually make up most of their income.
How Much to Tip
At Restaurants:
- Standard service: 15-20% of the total bill (before tax)
- Good service: 18-20%
- Excellent service: 20-25%
- Poor service: 10-15% (still tip something unless service was truly terrible)
Quick Tip Calculation:
- Take 10% of your bill (move the decimal point one place left)
- Double that number for 20%
- Example: $50 bill → 10% = $5 → 20% = $10
Other Situations:
- Delivery drivers: 15-20% ($3-5 minimum)
- Bartenders: $1-2 per drink, or 15-20% of the tab
- Coffee shops: $1 per drink or 15-20% for large orders
- Buffets: 10% (service is minimal)
- Food trucks: Optional, but appreciated
How to Leave a Tip
With cash: Leave bills on the table when you go, or hand directly to your server.
With credit card: The receipt will have a line that says “Tip” or “Gratuity.” Write the tip amount there, then add it to the total and sign.
When Tipping Is Included
Some restaurants add an automatic service charge (usually 18-20%) for large groups (typically 6 or more people). Check your bill carefully. The receipt might say “gratuity included” or “service charge.” If gratuity is already included, you do not need to tip again (though you can add extra for exceptional service).
Types of Dining Establishments
Fast Food Restaurants
Examples: McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell
- Order at the counter, pay immediately
- Take your food to a table yourself
- No tipping required
- Throw away your trash when you leave
- Very casual atmosphere
Casual Dining Restaurants
Examples: Applebee’s, Chili’s, Olive Garden, IHOP
- Host or hostess will seat you
- Server takes your order at the table
- Tip 15-20%
- Relaxed dress code (jeans and t-shirts are fine)
- Good for families and everyday meals
Fine Dining Restaurants
Examples: Upscale steakhouses, fancy French restaurants
- Reservations usually required
- Multiple courses, formal service
- Tip 20% (sometimes more)
- Dress nicely (no shorts, flip-flops, or athletic wear)
- More expensive, special occasion dining
Cafés and Coffee Shops
Examples: Starbucks, local coffee shops
- Order at the counter, pay first
- Pick up your drink when called
- Tipping optional but appreciated (tip jar at counter)
- $1 per drink is common
The American Restaurant Experience
Step-by-Step Process
1. Arriving
- Wait at the entrance for the host/hostess to greet you
- Tell them how many people are in your group
- They will say “Follow me” and show you to a table
- Common phrase: “Table for two, please”
2. Being Seated
- The host will give you menus
- Your server will come to your table within a few minutes
- They will introduce themselves: “Hi, I’m Sarah. I’ll be taking care of you today.”
3. Ordering Drinks
- Your server will first ask what you want to drink
- Water is free and unlimited
- Soft drink refills are usually free (but not always)
- You can say: “I’ll have water, please” or “Can I get a Coke?”
4. Looking at the Menu
- Take your time reading the menu
- Your server may explain daily specials
- Ask questions if you don’t understand something: “What comes with this dish?” or “Is this spicy?”
5. Ordering Food
- Your server will return to take your food order
- They may ask how you want your meat cooked: rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, or well done
- Don’t be afraid to make special requests: “Can I get that without onions?” or “Dressing on the side, please”
6. During Your Meal
- Your server will check on you: “How is everything?” or “Is everything okay?”
- A simple “Great, thank you!” is fine
- If you need something, try to catch your server’s eye, or you can gently raise your hand
- Do not shout or snap your fingers – this is considered very rude
7. Asking for the Check (Bill)
- When you’re ready to leave, tell your server: “Can I get the check, please?” or “Check, please”
- Americans also say “the bill”
- Your server will bring the bill in a folder or small tray
8. Paying
- You can pay with cash or credit card
- Place your payment in the folder with the bill
- Your server will process it and return with your receipt (and change, if cash)
- If paying with credit card, you’ll sign the receipt
9. Leaving
- You don’t need to wait for your server to dismiss you
- Simply get up and leave when ready
- It’s polite to say “Thank you” as you leave
Important Table Manners
Basic Etiquette
DO:
- Put your napkin on your lap when you sit down
- Keep your phone on silent or vibrate
- Chew with your mouth closed
- Wipe your mouth before drinking
- Keep elbows off the table while eating
- Say “please” and “thank you” to your server
- Wait for everyone to be served before starting to eat (in formal situations)
DON’T:
- Talk with food in your mouth
- Reach across someone – say “Please pass the salt”
- Use your phone during dinner (especially in nice restaurants)
- Blow your nose at the table – excuse yourself to the restroom
- Complain loudly – if there’s a problem, speak quietly to your server
Using Utensils (Silverware)
Americans use the “zigzag” or “American” style:
- Hold fork in left hand to cut
- Switch fork to right hand to eat
- Put knife down between bites
The knife blade should always face toward you on your plate.
When you’re finished eating, place your knife and fork parallel on your plate (like the hands of a clock at 4:20). This signals to your server that you’re done.
Dealing with Food Issues
If something is wrong with your food:
- Politely tell your server: “Excuse me, I ordered my steak medium, but this is well done”
- Most restaurants will quickly fix the problem
- Don’t be afraid to speak up – it’s your right as a customer
If you’re still eating but your server tries to take your plate:
- Say: “I’m still working on that” or “I’m not finished yet”
Special Dining Situations
Splitting the Bill
Americans often split bills among friends. This is called “going Dutch” or “splitting the check.”
- Tell your server at the beginning: “We’d like separate checks, please”
- Or at the end: “Can we split this evenly?” or “Can you split this three ways?”
- Some restaurants won’t split bills for large groups
Doggy Bags (Taking Food Home)
Taking leftovers home is completely normal and acceptable in America, even at nice restaurants.
- Ask your server: “Can I get a box for this?” or “Can I get this to go?”
- Your server will bring containers, or they may package it in the kitchen
- No one will think it’s strange or cheap
Drinking Alcohol
- You must be 21 or older to drink alcohol in the U.S.
- Your server will check your ID (identification card)
- It’s illegal for restaurants to serve alcohol to anyone under 21
- You can always decline alcohol: “Just water for me, thanks”
Dietary Restrictions
Americans are very understanding about dietary needs:
- “I’m vegetarian. What do you recommend?”
- “I’m allergic to shellfish. Does this dish contain any seafood?”
- “I don’t eat pork for religious reasons”
- “Do you have gluten-free options?”
Most servers will help you find something suitable.
Common Restaurant Vocabulary
Menu items:
- Appetizer / Starter – small dish before the main meal
- Entrée / Main course – the main dish
- Side dish – food that comes with your entrée
- Dessert – sweet food at the end
Cooking terms:
- Grilled – cooked over direct heat
- Fried – cooked in hot oil
- Steamed – cooked with steam
- Baked – cooked in an oven
Common questions from servers:
- “What can I get you?” (What would you like?)
- “How would you like that cooked?” (For meat)
- “Room for dessert?” (Would you like dessert?)
- “Any allergies I should know about?”
Tips for Success
- Observe others – If you’re unsure, watch what other diners are doing
- It’s okay to ask – Servers are used to answering questions. They want to help you.
- Speak up – If you need something, don’t hesitate to politely ask
- Relax – Americans understand that dining customs vary. Small mistakes are not a big deal.
- Calculate tips in advance – Use your phone’s calculator if you need to. No one will judge you.
- Keep some cash – While most places take cards, having small bills for tips is helpful
- Read online reviews – Many restaurants have reviews on Google or Yelp that can tell you about the atmosphere and what to expect
Cultural Differences to Remember
- Tipping is mandatory – This is the biggest adjustment for many newcomers
- Service is attentive – Servers will check on you multiple times. This is normal, not pushy.
- Portions are large – American restaurant servings are often much bigger than in other countries. It’s fine to share dishes or take home leftovers.
- Tap water is free – You can always ask for water at no charge
- Bread and appetizers – If bread comes to your table, check if it’s free or costs extra. Usually it’s free at chain restaurants.
- Separate checks are normal – Friends often pay for their own meals
- Eating earlier – Americans often eat dinner between 5:30 PM and 7:30 PM, earlier than many other cultures
Conclusion
American dining etiquette may seem complicated at first, but it becomes natural with practice. The most important rules are to be polite, tip appropriately, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Remember that restaurant staff want you to have a good experience. With this guide, you’re well-prepared to enjoy dining out in America!
Quick Reference: Tipping Guide
- Restaurant servers: 15-20%
- Delivery: 15-20%
- Bartenders: $1-2 per drink
- Buffets: 10%
- Coffee shops: Optional, $1 per drink
- Fast food: No tip needed
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