Introduction
Meeting people in America can feel different from your home country. Americans have specific ways of greeting and introducing themselves that might surprise you. This guide will help you feel confident when you meet new people in the United States.
Common American Greetings
Informal Greetings (Casual Situations)
Americans use informal greetings with friends, family, coworkers, and even people they just met. Here are the most common ones:
- “Hi!” or “Hey!” – The most common casual greeting
- “How are you?” or “How’s it going?” – A friendly greeting, not always a real question
- “What’s up?” – Very casual, used mostly by younger people
- “Good morning/afternoon/evening” – Polite and friendly for any time of day
Important cultural note: When someone asks “How are you?” they usually don’t expect a long answer. Most Americans simply respond with “Good, thanks! How are you?” or “I’m fine, thanks!” Even if you’re having a bad day, it’s normal to give a positive, short answer in casual situations.
Formal Greetings (Professional Situations)
In business meetings, job interviews, or when meeting someone important, use more formal language:
- “Hello, nice to meet you.”
- “Good morning/afternoon, Mr./Ms. [Last Name].”
- “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
- “How do you do?” (Very formal, more common in older generations)
The American Handshake
The handshake is the standard greeting in American professional and social situations.
How to Give a Proper Handshake
- Extend your right hand when you meet someone new
- Make eye contact and smile
- Grip firmly but not too hard – a weak handshake is considered negative
- Shake 2-3 times up and down
- Release after a few seconds
Who shakes hands with whom?
- In business: Everyone shakes hands, regardless of gender
- In social situations: Handshakes are common but not always required
- With close friends: You might hug instead (see below)
Personal Space
Americans value personal space. When greeting someone:
- Stand about 2-3 feet (60-90 cm) away
- Don’t stand too close unless you know the person well
- Touching someone’s arm briefly while talking is okay, but avoid other touching
Other Forms of Physical Greeting
Hugging
Americans often hug, but there are rules about when this is appropriate:
When hugging is common:
- With close friends and family
- When you haven’t seen someone for a long time
- At celebrations (birthdays, graduations, weddings)
- After building a friendly relationship with someone
When to avoid hugging:
- First meetings in professional settings
- With your boss or supervisor
- When someone seems uncomfortable
- In formal business situations
The “friend hug”: This is a brief, light hug with one or two pats on the back. It usually lasts 1-2 seconds.
Kissing on the Cheek
Unlike in many European, Latin American, or Middle Eastern countries, Americans generally do not kiss on the cheek as a greeting, except:
- In some Hispanic American communities
- In certain areas with large immigrant populations
- Among close family members
When in doubt, wait to see what the other person does.
Introducing Yourself
Basic Self-Introduction
When you meet someone new, use this simple pattern:
“Hi, I’m [your first name]. Nice to meet you.”
Example: “Hi, I’m Maria. Nice to meet you.”
Adding More Information
After introducing yourself, you can add:
- Where you’re from: “I’m from Brazil.”
- Your job or role: “I work at the hospital.” or “I’m a teacher.”
- How you know the person connecting you: “I work with John.” or “I’m Sarah’s neighbor.”
Example conversation:
- Person A: “Hi, I’m David. Nice to meet you.”
- Person B: “Hi David, I’m Ana. Nice to meet you too.”
- Person A: “So, how do you know Jessica?”
- Person B: “We work together at the library. How about you?”
Introducing Others
When you introduce two people to each other, include:
- Both people’s names
- How you know them or something interesting about them
Formula: “[Name A], this is [Name B]. [Name B], this is [Name A].”
Example: “Sarah, this is my coworker Tom. Tom, this is my friend Sarah from college.”
Order of Introduction (Traditional Rules)
In formal situations, traditional etiquette suggests:
- Introduce the younger person to the older person
- Introduce the lower-ranking person to the higher-ranking person (in business)
- Mention the more important person’s name first
Example: “Mr. Johnson [the client], I’d like you to meet my colleague, Karen Smith.”
However, in casual situations, Americans are usually flexible about this order.
Using Names and Titles
First Names vs. Last Names
American culture is generally informal. Most Americans prefer to use first names, even in work situations.
Use first names when:
- Someone introduces themselves with only their first name
- Coworkers at similar levels
- In casual social situations
- When someone says, “Please, call me [first name]”
Use titles and last names when:
- In formal business meetings (until invited to use first name)
- With doctors: “Dr. Smith”
- With professors: “Professor Johnson” or “Dr. Johnson”
- With much older people (until they invite you to use their first name)
- When you’re unsure – you can ask: “Should I call you Dr. Brown or may I call you Jennifer?”
Common Titles
- Mr. [Last Name] – for men
- Ms. [Last Name] – for women (preferred because it doesn’t indicate marriage status)
- Mrs. [Last Name] – for married women (less common now)
- Miss [Last Name] – for unmarried women (rarely used)
- Dr. [Last Name] – for people with doctoral degrees or medical doctors
When in doubt, use “Ms.” for women and “Mr.” for men with their last name until they tell you otherwise.
Small Talk: An Important Part of American Greetings
After the initial greeting, Americans usually engage in “small talk” – brief, light conversation about non-controversial topics.
Good Small Talk Topics
- Weather: “Beautiful day today, isn’t it?”
- Weekend or recent activities: “How was your weekend?”
- Sports (if appropriate): “Did you see the game last night?”
- General compliments: “I like your jacket!”
- Shared experiences: “This coffee shop is great, isn’t it?”
Topics to Avoid in Small Talk
- Money: Don’t ask about salary or how much things cost
- Age: Especially don’t ask women their age
- Weight or appearance: Don’t comment on weight loss or gain
- Politics or religion: Save these for deeper friendships
- Personal problems: Keep it light in initial conversations
Common Mistakes to Avoid
1. Not Making Eye Contact
In American culture, eye contact shows confidence and honesty. Looking away can seem rude or dishonest.
2. Weak Handshakes
A very weak handshake (sometimes called a “limp fish”) can make a negative impression.
3. Standing Too Close
Remember the personal space rule: about 2-3 feet apart.
4. Being Too Formal
While respect is important, Americans generally prefer a friendly, relaxed style. You don’t need to bow or use very formal language in most situations.
5. Answering “How are you?” Too Honestly
Remember, this is often a greeting, not a real question. Keep your answer short and positive in casual situations.
6. Forgetting to Smile
Americans smile a lot, even with strangers. A smile makes you seem friendly and approachable.
7. Not Using Someone’s Name After Being Introduced
Try to use the person’s name at least once in the conversation: “So, Tom, what do you do?” This shows you were listening and helps you remember their name.
Special Situations
Meeting Your Friend’s Friends
“Hey, I’m [name], a friend of [mutual friend’s name].” This immediately creates a connection.
Networking Events
“Hi, I’m [name]. I work in [industry/field]. What brings you here today?”
Running Into Someone You’ve Met Before But Can’t Remember
“Hi! Good to see you again! I’m [your name] – I think we met at [place/event]?” This gives them a chance to reintroduce themselves without embarrassment.
When You Forget Someone’s Name
Be honest: “I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.” Most people will understand and tell you again.
Regional Differences
America is a large country with regional differences:
- Southern states: People may be extra friendly, use “sir” and “ma’am,” and make more small talk
- Northeast cities: Greetings might be quicker and more direct
- West Coast: Generally casual and relaxed
- Midwest: Known for being friendly and polite
These are generalizations, but they can help you understand different styles you might encounter.
Practice Tips
- Practice your handshake with friends until it feels natural
- Prepare a simple self-introduction and practice it
- Watch American movies or TV shows to see natural greetings
- Don’t worry about being perfect – Americans understand you’re learning their customs
- Ask questions – Most Americans are happy to explain their customs
- Remember: Being friendly and making an effort is more important than perfect etiquette
Key Takeaways
- Handshakes are the standard professional greeting
- “How are you?” is often a greeting, not a real question
- Eye contact and smiling are very important
- First names are common, even in work situations
- Personal space matters – stand about 2-3 feet away
- Small talk is a normal part of American social interaction
- When in doubt, follow the other person’s lead
Final Thoughts
American greeting customs might feel strange at first, but they’ll become natural with practice. Remember that Americans generally value friendliness, directness, and informality. Most Americans will appreciate your effort to learn their customs and will be patient as you adjust. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes – they’re a normal part of learning any new culture!
Welcome to America, and good luck with your new friendships and connections!
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